the b-list, OPEN

[nicolette]

There was nothing worse than being alone at the beach. Just before sunset, the beach was almost always dead. Hardly a sight of a tourist, a disgruntled parent, or a child left. It made sense - once the sun was almost gone, it was like fun disappeared. Not one person could see what was going on, it turned chilly, and the water wasn't fun to play in anymore. You would think that depression just suddenly came upon such a sunny location.. yet, it was just nature. And even still, the naivety of the public would never be able to realize that simple thing. Naivety could make you or break you in so many situations.. but this simply was not one of them.

As the sun completely disappeared, almost instinctively, Nicolette removed her sunglasses. Things weren't as pretty as she expected. Beauty could be seen through so many perspectives, and switching perspectives could change it so quickly. Nicolette discovered early on that things weren't just black and white. They could be seen through so many different eyes that it was hard to distinguish one from the other. Burying her feet beneath the sand, she pushed a lock from her face that the wind earlier had brought on.

When she was a young girl, Nicolette had always wondered why some people went to the beach in normal clothing. She was under the impression that the beach was made for sand and sun, bathing suits and trunks. It was simply weird to be dressed as you would any other day, and if you were, you were an outcast. But at this moment, she found out why people did it. It was.. more fitting, to the occasion. If she didn't want to dress up, why should she? Pushed up jeans and a flowy shirt would do just fine, despite getting sand on them. And sometimes, nothing felt better than to just bury your feet in the sand.

A small sigh escaped the girl's pink, chapsticked lips. The wind came on stronger, and you wouldn't believe how much cooler it was outside as soon as the sun removed itself from sight. Her hair blew into her face, and she pushed the blonde locks away, her mind almost absent. She was in a deep state of thought, she could hardly take the time to recognize what she was doing. To take a look at where she was. To acknowledge the situation. Her thoughts were far too important.

It was important that she was alone, anyhow. Being alone restricted her temper completely. There was nothing for her to get angry at, except maybe the blowing of the wind; she may have found this irritating and left, had she not been in a state of thinking.

Despite the amount of thinking she tended to do, she never really looked back on her life and thought she was doing anything wrong. She figured every action she took was for the best, and was necessary in the long run. But she also often found herself wondering why she was single. The fact itself didn't really bother her, but the reasons why dug into her state of mind. It was more a question of curiosity, rather than a question of angst.

The girl found herself smiling slightly at a bird she saw walking, leaving small prints in the sand. The way it squawked and spazzed out was the most entertaining thing. How birds had the ability to do some of the things they did, she would always wonder.

Being a college girl, she couldn't be upset at being single. She wasn't, after all. Of course she'd had those flings, something to just hold her over for the night. Something to keep her entertained, to please her for the moment. But it was never as fulfilling as she expected it to be. In fact, she sometimes thought love should have existed in her life - but it was rare that it ever did. Love was foreign to her at this point.

There were the obvious reasons she was single - work, school, et cetera - but she sometimes thought, wouldn't she not care about that if she found it? As the saying goes, "love conquers all."

It was no matter. Simply no matter. She could continue satisfying herself for one night by means of lust, not love, and she'd be fine. For a few more years. A few more years sitting at this beach, contemplating things. Ranting in her brain, if you will. She stood up, brushing the sand off her bum and grabbing her shoes, walking up to the water, drawing back and forth, closer and further from the shore.

She saw another bird of the same type she had smiled at earlier, and it squawked. "Hello birdie," she spoke with a giggle. These are things she could only do on her own. In front of anyone else, she would appear stupid. Stupid, and maybe vulnerable. And appearing vulnerable was the very last thing she wanted.

The bird flew off, and she waved as she put her feet in the water. Approximately two seconds after doing this, she realized her fault and jumped out with a squeal. It was past her that water was extremely cold after the sun was gone. She knew subconsciously, but she was somewhat out of it. Things like that happen. And it was just a day for Nicolette to be out of it.

She deserved those days, she thought.

tag , anyone!
word count , 913
notes , sorry about the slight ranting. simply a bit of outlet on my part. i'd really appreciate a post, though. i'll provide muse, promise!