- - -you always get your way.

[carter marie sanders]

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there were a lot of things that carter could stand. that really bad smell that seemed to get everywhere in your apartment when the disposal in the sink stopped up, the food laying in it as it slowly decomposed. when the dog decided to throw up on the carpet because it ate another pair of your shoes. but see, there were some things that annoyed the hell out of her. like, when she sat at her piano and stared at the blank music sheets for hours, unable to put a single note down on paper. and then having the same dog that got sick the day before harass you over and over for a walk. at first, the near twenty year old ignored the dog. but then, that wet nose kept on shoving itself into her hands, and she began to get irritated. some people might call it 'neglect'. carter called it laziness. she'd woken that morning feeling full of energy and creative, so the first place she'd gone was her piano. when the creative flow stuttered to a stop within the first half hour, her mood had slowly gone from energetic to lethargic. after about the fifth time her dog bugged her, she let him out on the back porch to meander about in the sun, thinking that would possibly satisfy him. she'd gone to her couch then, sinking into it as she put her headphones in her ears, and grabbed her laptop. she was perusing the web when she heard the scratching, and carter looked over to find her dog, her crazy ass dog, jumping at the door. carter frowned, pausing for a moment. why? why did she have to inherit the crazy dog when chris died?

that simple thought made her breath catch. chris. she raised a hand to her forehead, leaning forward slowly, moving as though she were stiff. things had been getting better for her lately. she was able to not think about him as much, especially since she'd cleaned her closet of his things and taken the engagement ring off her finger. that had been the biggest step, the one she'd really had to work up to. when she had first received news that he had died, she'd stared at that ring for hours, wondering why in the world God would make such a thing happen to two people who could have the best life imaginable together. she'd refused to take the ring off at any time after that, save for when she washed her hands or took a shower, or things like that. she remembered when one time, she'd thought she'd lost it. carter had been devastated, reacting as though someone else she'd loved had died. when she found it later, on the ground hidden behind her trash can in the bathroom, she'd cried. cried because she missed him, cried because she was still holding on when she knew she should be letting go. but still, the ring had gone back on that finger. finally, a few days ago, carter had taken the ring off, put it in the little black box he had given it to her in, and put the box in another little box she had filled with all the little memories of her and chris. pictures, letters, objects that reminded her of good times with him. and then she'd put that box in the closet, in the farthest corner. she was letting go, moving on. whatever you wanted to call it. strangely, she felt a bit of relief. like when she had put that box away, she'd stopped putting herself in pain. since then, she'd been able to get away with thinking about him without that stabbing pain in her chest, that longing and sadness so intense that it made her cry out.

that pain came back at the simple thought about her dog, but for once, it was manageable. carter could bind it up neatly, place it into the back of her heart and mind for a later time. she didn't want to hurt today. carter sighed, and rose, walking to the door and letting the dog in. it was then that her computer pinged, a tell tale sign that someone had just imed her. carter walked over to the computer, and stared down at the screen, a smile lighting her features. blaise mackenzi, responding to a distress signal she'd sent out earlier. carter sat down, and let herself get lost in conversation with him. he was one of her favorite people to talk to. in fact, he was just one of her favorite people, in general. it seemed like she'd known him forever, though that wasn't the case. they'd met around the same time she'd met chris, due to the fact they had been best friends. carter smiled softly to herself, remembering some of the fonder memories of the three of them going out, acting crazy together. when chris had died, they'd both taken it extremely hard, but had clung to each other. well, maybe it had just been carter doing the clinging. being around blaise had made things hurt less, and she'd felt safe and secure when her world had been crumbling. and he hadn't pushed her away. in fact, he'd taken care of her, helping heal her slowly but surely. for that, carter would always be grateful to him. with that, however, had come them becoming better and better friends... and them becoming a bit more touchy feely. holding hands, cuddling, hugs that were like holding each other... that type of thing. carter told herself the guys and girls who were best friends did that frequently. but could she really fool herself into believing that? for now, she swallowed it. it was what she wanted to believe: every touch blaise gave her was warm and welcome, and it made her feel wanted, safe, and loved. but those feelings were dangerous. lately, she'd felt herself balancing on a slippery slope, and she was beginning to lose her footing, falling slowly towards the fact that she was falling for him.

the thought made her bite her lip as she continued to dress herself. he was coming over, helping her walk her dog and get her lazy ass out of the house. her mood had gone from lethargic to energized, electric. it was just one of the few things that blaise made her feel. carter swallowed, and walked over to her mirror, staring at herself. she didn't have any make up on, but people frequently told her she didn't need it, that her olive skin and dark lashes made her beauty natural. so, carter left herself alone, and walked into her kitchen to take charger's leash out of the drawer. she was walking over to the fridge for a bottle of water when she heard someone knock on the door. carter walked over to it, unlocking it and opening it. she leaned lazily against the door, smiling, as she let herself give blaise a slow once over. "you clean up nicely, mackenzi."

she said with a wink and a laugh, feeling that warm fuzzy feeling flow through her.




NOTES woop woop. c:
WORDS 1, 323 w/ coding
TAGGED closed, blaise mackenzi
OUTFIT click the text
CREDIT graphics to cait, lyrics to the format[/size][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote]
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